MY LAGOS STRUGGLE



I saw a funny video online today where a lady fell off an escalator. It made me laugh so hard and I also remembered something.
Please come along with me!

I had just come to Lagos for my NYSC in 2010.
Here I met Dee. Dee had all the good looks and you could refer to him as your "tall, dark and handsome" kinda guy. Dee was staying on the Island at that time and I was with my Uncle somewhere on the mainland, Ikotun area precisely. 

Dee knew all the cool spots in town and he was so determined to take me on all his tours around town and the fact that I was a boring "journey just come" village girl wasn't helping matters.

So, one Saturday morning I got a call from Dee; "babe can we see a movie today"? 
he continued "don't worry  I will send the direction on where you'll meet me up" and hung up very quickly before I could say anything. 

I already had plans to sleep all day (PS: sleep used to be my day job, every other thing including my NYSC job was a hobby). 

Before long I arrived at Sabo in Yaba and my Dee was already waiting at the bus stop for me. His first gaze at me he went "babe what's up with you, why are you wearing all these?" 
 I glanced at myself from head to toe wondering what could be wrong what my baffup. Me that was fully decked on my body hug top and my all-time favorite jeans skirt well balanced with my 4 inches heel sandals ( don't even ask me how I was comfortable on them shuttling buses). 

Not wanting any of my naggings, he said "no problem, you even over try but just don't tell me your feet hurt because of this your choirmistress something you put on". Ha! What kind of see finish is this?

Walking down to Ozone Cinema on my bent heels was hell (you know those over worn choir mistress shoes that have bent sides) My feet were already turning red. We arrived at the Cinema and first thing, I was already scouting for where to sit because I was in pain from the long walk.




Can you guess what year this photo was taken? No, it wasn't in 2008.



We sat outside for a while, had a few drinks. I had almost forgotten my feet issues when Dee announced that we were going in to see our movie. We got in and I headed towards the stairs but Dee pulled me back and insisted that we use the escalator especially since I complained about my hurting feet earlier. 

Hmmm! Escalator, I stood in front of it, and looking up, fear already gripped me and for the fact that I was acrophobic (I still am, my heart skip each time I climb the stairs) plus my choirmistress heel sandals weren't helping matters.

Dee grabbed my hand and said "don't worry I got you, baby, just step on it when you see me move"
I tried to step on it when he did but I chickened out so he also stepped back. This continued a few times.
By this time people were already starring at us. 

"Let's try again, this time doesn't step back," he said. So we moved, I stepped on it and boy! I was fine. I was already thinking in my mind "this is a small thing na".

My village people must have been alerted and they decided to stair the waters halfway up. From nowhere my tiny legs began to shake. Ah! Who sent me to wear koi koi shoes o and on top escalator again. Before I could find my balance, I suddenly let go of Dee's hand and like Jack in my children's nursery rhymes who went up the hill and fell, except this time my Jill did not tumble after me. 

I started flying in the air. I was flying and my fellow Nigerians in front of me gave way so I could have a good landing. 

All along Dee kept on shouting "Babe, I get you, babe, I gat you"
Gat me where na, or this falling is not visible to you fa? Let me just get out of this alive first.

It took the intervention of one of the doormen who came to my rescue because he had to jump on the escalator to save me just like the actor in an oyinbo movie. 

He led me back up safely to Dee who was now apologizing for all the embarrassment because I had became the focus in the whole mall by now. If it was in this era of social media I'm sure my face would have been all over the place by now. Sigh!

Embarrassment ke! I was just grateful I was ok. Watin I go tell my papa if to say something happen to me? 

Anyways, we still saw a movie and I tried to find a way to enjoy the view but slept halfway through the movie. I guess it was way past my nap time, lol.

As soon as we stepped out of the Cinema premises, Dee entered a nearby shop and bought a pair of bathroom slippers for me. If I hear that I did not wear it.
Before we parted ways that evening he turned to me and said "do me a favor babe, throw those pair of sandals into the bush with your left hand before you get home. You hear?

Sigh! This village girl has truly suffered.
 The things my eyes have seen in this Lagos.

This remembrance is making my chest pain me right now.

I am coming back.

Xoxo
©Rachel Jesuseme



Comments

  1. Thank your stars its not this era of social media, next time wear 16 inches, I dey here dey wait for d aftermath, #laffinuzeba

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Serious Thanksgiving o.

      Laugh very well.

      Delete
    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    3. Don't laugh at me o, lol.
      Thank for visiting

      Delete
  2. There's always a first time n first experience to anything (escalator) . The village thing sha prepared u 4 Lagos hustle I guess...
    I dey wait

    ReplyDelete
  3. First time indeed my brother.
    Maybe, but these Lagos people stronger than my power, lol!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Replies
    1. My chest! Lol.
      I am glad you enjoyed reading.
      Please stick around.

      Delete
  5. Hahahahaha.
    Shebi you don get yourself now?
    I'm Wondering what you were even feeling like.
    God save you say we no see your for YouTube.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tory_Teller leave me alone. Like Beyonce of course. I can almost imagine the caption sef

      Delete
  6. This is just hilarious. I have had bad experiences with escalators too and I avoid them like the plague till now. My heart just starts to beat 3 tines as fast at the thought of getting on one, even as I am typing thia comment and thinking of escalator, my heart is already beating fast. Lol. Abeg, I will rather climb stairs the good old way jeje, after all, I will burn more calories that way too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha! It is a serious something.
      I admire my four years old each time she steps on it like it's nothing.
      Stairs all the way for me too.

      Delete
    2. Escalator wahala.That thing has a way of falling people with style.lt happens always at the first step either up or down

      Delete
  7. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜… I still am petrified by escalators, Las Las, I take the long way and use the stairs

    ReplyDelete
  8. So sorry I can't help but laughπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hhhhahaha...
    I have experienced Escalator wahala
    Story for another day

    ReplyDelete
  10. ������ I had a good laugh. Really interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  11. πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†
    I had a good laff.
    Come and see me the first day I entered lift na.
    Abeg how do I share this story sef?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha, Dear Dimples we many on this table πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.
      You can share the link by clicking on the share icon at the end of each post. Thank you

      Delete
  12. πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ My 1st experience was also a wonderful scene. I was supposedly being led by 'two knights' (fellow corpers), we were serving at the airport then in 2008. All the public could hear was "no no no, I can't", meanwhile I was clutching for dear life on the sleeves of my escorts making them lose balance. Hmmm, the rest is better imagined 🀣🀣🀣

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh dear! I can imagine. Thanks for sharing your experience

      Delete
  13. Help me . My head aches badly and I can't stop laughing. But thank God no injury. Chaii

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha.
      Thank God there were no injuries. I wonder what I would have told my parents

      Delete

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