The wedding came and went. 
Boy! it was a beautiful one, in spite of all the quarrels and disagreements Jay and I had. We had our honeymoon in Seychelles and I must confess it was a good time.

Six months into our marriage Jay had already started complaining of me not being pregnant yet. He even suggested I quit my job so I could focus on getting pregnant and making babies but I assured him that all will be well. By the time we were celebrating our one year wedding anniversary, he was already scouting for which fertility clinic to visit. Chi was always by my side showing her support, as usual, I mean by now she was more than a sister to me. We attended the same church and were both in the choir. She encouraged me to keep praying as we have always done in difficult situations in our lives. 

Two, three, and four years down the road Chi still wasn't married and she even seemed unbothered about it, I too haven't had a child yet and my relationship with Jay was slowly drifting apart.

Jay became verbally abusive and extremely aggressive. He would come home in the dead of the night soaked in alcohol. He even changed his friends and started bringing unfamiliar faces into our home. 
Then it happened one night, he came home drunk as usual and walked straight to where I was sited in the living room waiting for him and asked me to strip. "I'm sorry what did you say?" I asked. "Take off your clothes bitch" he yelled at me. I was still trying to process what was going on when a slap landed on my face, then he took off his belt to flog me. By the time he was done unleashing his belt on me he tore off my nightie, pushed me on the couch, and mounted me. 
My husband raped me and left me in bruises and pain.

I curled up by the corner of the parlor like a little kitten beat by rain and cried like never before. I cried and prayed at the same time. I asked God for strength to see the next day and when I wake up all these will be a dream. 

I must have slept off crying because Jay's kick woke me up the following day. Oh, Lord! It wasn't a dream, my husband actually beat me and raped me last night.

 Jay asked me to go into the room, freshen up, and then come out to make him breakfast.  I went into the room and freshened up but I locked myself in the room and cried more. He came banging the door and threatening to bring it down, I'm an engineer, you will be dead before you can break down the door. I stayed in my room all day praying and assuring myself of God's words concerning me.

I finally came out in the evening and saw Jay watching TV. I prepared something to eat and Jay watched while I ate my food in silence.

The following day was Sunday, I got dressed and went to church, thanks to makeup and wigs. I even sang in the choir. O! what women have to do to always the cover-up.

While I was ministering I saw Jay strolling into service, I mean the devil himself came to the gathering of God's people. 
After service, Chi noticed my mood but I told her it was nothing serious other than Jay and I having our usual baby talk. 
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The beating and rape continued and soon became almost a weekly affair. I began to distance myself from Chi. She also got an appointment and had to travel often and even relocated to Abuja so we were limited to talking on the phone only but she couldn't help but comment on my mood each time we spoke and I always told her the baby issue with Jay was affecting me.
I became a shadow of myself, my bobbling spirit at work and in church soon became a sad one.
During choir rehearsals one Saturday morning, our Bishop came out of church office and asked me to see him after rehearsal. 
As soon as I stepped into Bishop Andrew's office, he held me in a tight embrace before sitting me on the sofa in his office "Yewande" he began   "I have known you since you were a child, your father and I were ordained at the same time, which was one of the reason I instead you come to join our church the moment I knew you were settling down in Lagos after your masters. You have always been a happy and warm child but the person I see these days is not you. You do not have to go through life alone. What is eating you up my child?".
 By the time he was done talking I was soaked in my own tears. I narrated all that has been going on between Jay and me and how I haven't found the courage to discuss this with anyone, not even my best friend Chi. He was shocked and sad at the same time that I had to go through this alone all these years. He reassured me of God's promises for His children and advised that I be closer to God now more than ever. He prayed with me and promised to speak with Jay and possibly have a counseling session with the two of us.

As I drove back home deep in thoughts, it suddenly hit me or should I say it was the Holy Spirit. It hit me that I was going through the same circle of delayed childbirth just like my mother had experienced. It was now a full circle and so I was determined to break that circle. 

I embarked on three days fast, thankfully I was on my annual leave. I fasted and prayed for God to break the evil circle in my life and restore my home to normal. 

Jay had a session with my Bishop. He got home from work a week later and apologized for all his wrongdoing. 

Normalcy returned to my home and miraculously nine months later we were christening our babies, our set of twin Asher and Andre.

God answered.

I finally exhaled.

Or maybe not.

Photo credit: honeymoonalways.com

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Sigh! The feedback on this story so far. Yewande's story is a real life story as narrated by her. Sadly this is also the reality of some women at the moment. 
This is really sad. 
Concluding this story has been so much of a struggle, however, we conclude shortly.

Thank you.

© Rachel Jesuseme


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