Hey Tribe,
I trust you all are doing ok.

I am fine, thanks for asking. I am just here wondering if the universe wants us to populate the earth more, especially with this very freezing weather + lockdown. #yummymummy loading. This is not my handwriting, please don't come for me.

So, I had a chat with my friend who celebrated her one year wedding anniversary over the weekend and she was sharing some hilarious wedding night moments with me; like they were looking for the hole to put the machine gun on their wedding night amongst many others and it was so hilarious.

This made me remember all my early days of marriage experiences. No, I didn't have such experiences because I am the king of the jungle *side-eye at you all,  Google is your best friend and teacher please*.
2014 you all! Double click for goodwill😂

I however had other experiences in the very early years and looking back now I am thankful I did because experiences help me build on myself and make me a better version of who I am today.

My struggles were real and to be honest I don't think you will see them as struggles or as me just being a spoilt brat.

My first challenge was the issue of time. Me having to always share my husband's time with his mother and sister. It was the hardest period of my life especially considering I am from a background where if you needed to do anything with your sibling you will have to run it by their spouses first. I still don't know why my dad set such rules. Well, he says that is what the bible says and you had better comply before you have to answer to the elders. 

Yes, so getting married to a man who one minute he is getting a call and the next minute he is dashing out of the house without any approval whatsoever was hard. Wait! Approval for what and from who? I must be kidding right?. Now I am laughing at myself.

Also, I had a great challenge with how people perceive us individually. You see, when you are married to a great guy that is so amazing, it's really hard to complain or talk about things that make you sad and people are always like "how dare you? He is so amazing!!!
Now I am a spoilt kid, right?

In my journey to self-discovery and my moments of truth, I've come to realize that's it's ok to experience some hurt and bitterness inside. It might not necessarily mean that we are not loved like in my case I was just struggling with acceptance which is a major part of my personality trait. 

I have also grown to understand that self-awareness equals self-love. 

No one can actually truly love you if you first do not know yourself for yourself and by yourself. 
See rhymes!

So, it will be safe to do a mental check every now and then and do away with the things you do not need to embrace about yourself and strive to make yourself better for you and everyone around you because nobody enjoys being around a toxic person.

If you haven't already taken your personality test. Click to take the test here

Know thyself and stay true.

You see writing about this now has left me in stitches and I can't believe I am laughing at myself over issues that used to make me cry and feel like I wasn't loved. Time truly is a great healer.

My name is Rachel Jesuseme and this is my truth.

Please share your first years in marriage or relationship experiences with us in the comment section.

We will love to learn from you and have a good laugh too.

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© Rachel Jesuseme


  1. Awww. I can so relate with your truth. Being married to an only son, it was very challenging for me initially. My first year of marriage wasn't all rosy I must confess. But hey, I've come a very long way and now we know the challenges we're working it out one day at a time.

    1. A long way indeed and it will continue to get better for you. Thanks for sharing your experience with us Tory-Teller

  2. Wow!! It got me laughing though!!
    Marriage is different from everyone!! For me though I haven't seen anything I will say challenged me . I was brought up to be strong and brave and to face my fear . My Dad was as ex - shouldier and he was a polygamous man too , I had 6 brothers from my mum and 17 brothers altogether from my Dad, I grew up with boys , I learnt how to fight and survive.. little things hardly get me .so seriously my early marriage wasn't really bad!!!!

    1. Wow! 20 salute for you. Thanks for sharing your experience with us Joy.

  3. LMAO. You are so funny. My first year of marriage was not so bad. I guess we were still in the honeymoon phase where I was placed on a pedestal and the ground I walked on was worshipped until see finish happened. Lol

    But this una picture, see as oga dey smile like pesin wey win lottery. Lol.


    1. That kind of see finish that never ends.

      Lol, he legit won a lottery.
      Thanks for sharing your experience with us Esther, we have missed you a great deal here.

  4. Marriage is truly a beautiful institution... but wait o I have never taken this personality test o🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

    1. Yes it is.
      You need to take it, you will be shocked at the result of your personality traits

  5. Wow poor you I can imagin especially when you can't eat alone during breakfast you will av to wait till he get back mine was dealing with my hubby's snoring it was That bad that I can't even hear myself breathe I had to help him relax with music and massage

    1. Hahaha, I fell from my chair reading this. That snoring can sniff life out of someone. Thanks for sharing your experience with us Adejoke

  6. And why am I reading this in your voice? Lol.
    *grabs popcorn* jejely waiting in the comment section to download these beautiful experiences, thumbs up ladies, you all rock.

    1. You sure love gist more than I do😂😂. Thanks for reading Success


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